How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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