I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
