I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize