you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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