I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
