Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Your shirt... Was in my pants
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