i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
