Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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