Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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