she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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