What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
