why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Randomize
