You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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