pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
