who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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