Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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