He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
