i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
