goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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