It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
