Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
