Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
