you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize