then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
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