I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
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I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
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