There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
