HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
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