Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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