Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
