So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
