my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
