i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
