no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
