I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Randomize
