so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
