Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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