I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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