I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Randomize
