i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Randomize
