the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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