idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
All I want is dick and wine.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
