you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
