My balls are so social today.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize