i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
