Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
