she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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