Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
