I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
