I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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