and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Congratulations! We have a period
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