he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
