You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
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