i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
it's like iHOP with fire
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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