Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
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