Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
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