Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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