if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
