are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize