And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
