It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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