my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
She told me I should be a condom model.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
