I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
