I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
